36 Weeks

I’m 36 weeks today. I begin my blog post like this because pregnancy has shoved its way into the forefront of my existence: My life is navigated around the “basketball” I perpetually carry in front of me, so termed by one of my favorite patients with delirium.

Some people enjoy pregnancy- and I am honestly happy for those people. But am convinced they must be lying.

On Tuesday I woke up at 3:00 AM with raging esophagitis (heartburn) that gave me chest pain so bad I cried behind the steering wheel on my way to work at 5:55 AM, thankful it was cold outside that day and people wouldn’t notice my red eyes or drippy nose. A bottle of maalox sits by my computer station now and I do the occasional shot.

As the baby locks and loads for delivery like an AirBus lowering it’s wheels for landing I swear I can feel the places where my individual hip bones; ischium, ilium, pubis, are loosening. Where every so often, a misstep during rounds sends an electric bolt down my leg like I’m being tased; the obturator nerve. Where a mid gluteal pain makes me ache with each step; the piriformis. I remember their names from my first year of medical school because I haven’t thought about them since then… Until now.

My work day starts at 6:30 and ends anywhere from 4:00 PM on a good day and 9:30-10:00 PM on a bad one. I work 6 days a week and loaf around on my one day off as that’s all the energy I have to do.

So no, we will not take the stairs during rounds. Yes, I will take a seat when I check in with my patients in the mornings. And double yes, I will eat a warm chocolate chip cookie in the mid-afternoon and a piece of celebration cake another medicine tram brought in for the inauguration we didn’t get to watch.

If pregnancy has taught me anything it’s that there is an immeasurable power and satisfaction in living life unapologetically.

My walk is slower than usual recently, but I get there.